City Ordinances and State Laws :: Expository Essays

City Ordinances and State Laws In the spirit of civic duty, I thought I'd inform you, the responsible citizen of Mount Vernon, of some of the important laws that we live by. Combining my copious amounts of free time with my love of the mundane, I dug through our city's ordinance code as well as state law to unearth some rules we all need to know about. First off, let it be known that many of these crimes come with penalties. State laws can carry heavy prison time while city ordinances come with fines up to $500. Bearing this serious business in mind, let us begin. We all know not to start fights or provoke violence, but there are other more important things to know about. For instance, never ever harass someone via a telegraph. Don't even think about it. In fact, don't "circulate a report or warning" of an epidemic, either. Imagine the pandemonium that could result if you convinced them that your incessant smoker's cough could spread syphilis. State law prohibits these things. Public nuisances, usually found in the city code, are my personal favorites. Do not, for goodness sake, keep flammable, "unreasonably" offensively smelling, "noisome," toxic or otherwise objectionable stuff on your lawn. Leaving exploded gas station burritos in your dorm microwave is OK. Furthermore, keeping diseased animals (even if they're tied up) or animal carcasses (even if they just look like they're asleep) is not just a bad idea; it's also against the law. The city's ordinances go to great lengths to protect our beloved streets and sidewalks and the inhabitants thereof. If you cannot find a safe sidewalk to walk or run on in Mount Vernon, you must stay on the left side of the road. No exceptions. Considering tying your sled to the back of a car and riding it around? Don't even think about it. Sled/car combinations are illegal. Thinking about building some kind of device to launch cantaloupes or other large melons at oncoming traffic? Forget it. Shooting things into the street is prohibited. In fact, simply obstructing a sidewalk is a serious offense. Leaving something like grass clippings or a car on a sidewalk is illegal. Waiting more than 48 hours to clear the sidewalk of snow or ice is illegal. Leaving an open flame or unspent fuel on a sidewalk is illegal too. If you encounter anyone committing these offenses, call the police immediately and tell them it is a critical emergency.